The Body Speaks
The body speaks volumes, often louder than our words
I first stumbled upon it in the book Sell Your Way to the Top by Peter Thomson. It was the mid-1990s, and I was a rookie salesman trying to find my footing in the real world of cold calls and product pitches. Chapter 6 ‘Communication Skills’ claimed something that sounded outrageous at the time: 55% of our communication is through body language.
Really!?
Back then, I found it hard to believe. But the deeper I ventured into the world of communication and especially after I joined Toastmasters in 2004, this idea began to make perfect sense. Dr. Albert Mehrabian’s 7-38-55 Rule explains that communication is only 7% verbal (words), 38% vocal (tone), and 55% visual (body language). While this is often misquoted and oversimplified as it originally referred to situations involving feelings or attitudes, it still underscores a powerful point.
Why Body Language Matters
We often think of speech as a function of our words and content. But consider this situation. You are giving directions to a friend whom you have invited home on the phone. Even though your friend can’t see you, you find yourself gesturing. Pointing left, waving around, and perhaps even frowning. This is not irrational behaviour. It’s instinctive. Our bodies are wired to communicate, and they do so whether we want them to or not.
Living in the narrow alleys of inner Patan in Lalitpur, I’ve found myself explaining to taxi drivers with elaborate hand movements on the phone decades ago! That’s when I knew that our body is deeply entangled with how we communicate, even when there’s no one watching. In the modern era of online maps and house numbers, I still continue to gesture on the phone to delivery folks!
When I joined Toastmasters, one of the biggest eye-openers was the Competent Communicator manual’s (legacy education system) section on body language. It didn’t just say ‘move your hands’ or ‘make eye contact’, it gave structure to how to harness your physical presence.
Let’s explore some simple, yet powerful tools to help you unlock the full potential of your body while speaking.
Unboxing Body Language
Stance
Think of your stance as the root of a tree. Strong roots give the tree strength. Your stance gives you grounding and presence.
- Feet: Shoulder-width apart. Don’t stand with your feet too close together (you’ll wobble) or too wide (you’ll look awkward).
- Legs: Avoid locking your knees. Flexibility here helps ease nervous tension.
- Weight: Distribute your weight equally. Many speakers unconsciously shift weight from one leg to another, rocking or swaying. This distracts the audience and signals nervousness.
- Stillness: You don’t need to stand frozen, but intentional stillness (rather than fidgety movement) makes your presence more powerful.
- Unsure what to do with your legs? Plant them firmly, take a deep breath, and let your upper body do the talking.
Hands and Arms
Your hands are not meant to dangle like dead weight by your side. Nor should they flail uncontrollably. They are expressive tools and visual amplifiers.
- Natural Position: Let your hands rest gently at your sides when not gesturing.
- Purposeful Gestures: Use your hands to emphasise key points. Show numbers (e.g., hold up three fingers for ‘three reasons’), size (e.g., small vs. large), direction (point or guide), or emotions (open arms for inclusion, palms up for honesty).
- Avoid: Clenching fists, repeatedly touching your face or clothes, or over-gesturing in a robotic pattern.
- Elbows and Shoulders: Keep gestures within a ‘gesture box’ roughly from your shoulders to your waist. Overhead gestures or constant shoulder lifting can look exaggerated.
Watch news anchors or TED speakers. Notice how their hands move, when they stay still, and how they ‘rest’ between gestures.
Facial Expressions
Your face is a mirror of your emotions. Audiences are quick to pick up on dissonance between your facial expressions and your words.
- Smile: It’s the most universal and disarming expression. Use it at the beginning to build rapport.
- Eyes and Brows: Use raised eyebrows to show surprise or emphasis. Slight furrows can express seriousness or curiosity.
- Match Emotion: If you’re telling a sad story, don’t wear a grin. Let your face reflect the mood.
- Practice in the mirror while rehearsing. You’ll be surprised at how often your facial expressions don’t match your message.
Eye Contact
Ever had a conversation with someone who kept looking over your shoulder or keep using their mobile phones and laptops? Annoying, right? Now imagine doing that to an audience.
- Scan the Room: Don’t stare at one spot. Move your gaze across sections of the audience. In small rooms, make eye contact with individuals.
- Hold, Then Move: Hold each gaze for a few seconds. Don’t dart your eyes constantly. It makes you look uncertain.
- Avoid: Looking only at your notes, screen, or ceiling. Eye contact builds trust.
- When you look at someone while making a point, they feel as if the message is meant especially for them. That’s power.
Movement
Movement on stage should be a deliberate act and not a nervous tic.
- Transition Movements: Walk to a different part of the stage when transitioning between sections of your speech.
- Anchor Points: Deliver major ideas from a fixed point. Don’t walk while making important points. It dilutes your message.
- Avoid: Pacing, bouncing, or swaying. These signal anxiety more than energy.
- Great thinkers like J. Krishnamurti or Osho barely moved, yet captivated millions. Why? Their presence was powerful, and every movement or stillness had intention.
The Body That Changed the Talk
The best speakers don’t just speak well. They move well. They feel well. They connect well.
Body language isn’t about ‘acting’. It’s about aligning your physical presence with your spoken message. When done right, your audience won’t just hear you. They will feel you. And that’s what makes your message unforgettable.
Let me close with this.
Last year, I was mentoring an entrepreneur speaker. He had powerful ideas but was stiff as a mannequin. After one session, I asked him to just ‘speak to me like you’re telling a friend what you believe in’. He began speaking. His shoulders dropped. His face relaxed. His hands moved freely. His eyes met mine. In those ten minutes, his entire presence changed and so did his confidence.
That day, I didn’t need to change his words. I just needed to unlock the language his body was holding back.
You can do it too. Speak with your body.
Shakya is an entrepreneur, certified trainer, and small business consultant. He can be reached for an executive mentoring session at suman@tangentwaves.com
